Article from 1997 about H50 broadcast on Family Channel

I was searching for something else when I found this in old e-mail...

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May 26, 1997
Digitally remastered `Hawaii Five-O,' weeknights on Family Channel

By Ed Bark

The Dallas Morning News

Criminy, perhaps someday they'll be digitally remastering ``Camp Runamuck.''

In the here and now, though, Family Channel publicists are touting a new nip-and-tucked ``Hawaii Five-0,'' which comes to cable Tuesday ``in the wake of the newly remastered classics `Star Wars' and `The Godfather.'''

Audaciously mentioning ``Five-0'' in that same breath is akin to hiring Tony Dow to host the Oscars. If restoring ``Five-0'' is an act of art preservation, then let's start finding spots in the Louvre for Venus Paradise pencil renderings. Or how about a connect-the-dots wing?

``Filmed entirely on location in Hawaii,'' ``Five-0'' premiered in 1968 on CBS and endured for 12 seasons. The network then immediately segued to ``Magnum, P.I.,'' giving CBS a one-two Hawaiian punch. When ``Magnum'' finally petered out in 1988, the network sent Richard Chamberlain to Honolulu to star in ``Island Son.'' Bonk, that one didn't work, but CBS recently commissioned a new version of ``Five-0'' produced by Stephen (``The A-Team'') Cannell. It's not on the fall schedule, but might wash ashore in midseason.

The original starred square-jawed Jack Lord as no-nonsense detective Steve McGarrett. This guy was serious enough to make Joe Friday seem like Chuckles the Clown. His tagline, ``Book 'em, Dano,'' rivaled Friday's equally terse ``Just the facts, ma'am.'' Dano being curly-haired, baby-faced detective Danny Williams, played by Helen Hayes' adopted son, James MacArthur.

(A digression: There is an ongoing dispute as to whether McGarrett actually says, ``Book 'im, Dano.'' Or ``Book 'em/'im, Dan'l.'' Or whether ``Dano'' actually should be spelled with two n's. You make the call.)

McGarrett's crime team also included detectives Chin Ho Kelly (Kam Fong) and Kono Kalakaua (Zulu). They didn't mess around.

The Family Channel's preview tape of Tuesday's 1968 episode, titled ``Full Fathom Five,'' is preceded by a brief show-and-tell of the remastering process. Thanks to Paramount Television's artistry, the ``new'' ``Five-0'' looks as though it's just brushed with Crest. A good scrubbing ``brightens colors, improves skin tones and clarifies the entire picture,'' a narrator enthuses. It's not exactly a transformation from Candy Crowley to Cindy Crawford, but you can notice the difference.

The famed, peppy ``Five-0'' theme song didn't need any touchup. It's still almost enough to make you want to race around the block a few times. There's also a snoozy, slowed-down version for those thought-provoking, low-tide moments. Ba-ba-ba-ba-baaaaaaa-ba. Ba-ba-ba-ba-zzzz.

The ``Full Fathom Five'' episode features guest star Kevin McCarthy in a dated, Brutus haircut. Nicely cast as con man Victor Rawlings, he preys on rich widowers by proposing marriage and then dealing death. We begin aboard his Aloha Baby boat, where Vic's toasting yet another impending wedding with poisoned champagne. His would-be bride is deep-sixed in an oil drum before the ``Five-0'' opening music and credits kick in. This includes a shot of Lord whirring to give you one of those patented retro-action looks. Considered cool back then, it's ludicrous now.

McGarrett and men, assisted by an undercover policewoman, are perfectly suited - and tied - to bring the bilker to justice. In this episode, though, they do so at a narcoleptic, criminally slow pace. When the director yelled ``Action!'', the ``Five-0'' cast must have had trouble keeping straight faces. Save for Lord, of course, whose approximation of a smile can't even meet Mona Lisa halfway.

Lord also sports the tall hair of the day and an almost surreal, cleaned/pressed look. Can you steam an entire human being? Mebbe so.

Tuesday's episode is briefly spiced by a flareup between McGarrett and Dano/Danno/Dan'l, whatever.

``I don't like it,'' the kid says of McGarrett's decision to bait Victor with the undercover policewoman.

``Nobody asked you,'' McGarrett barks back, flexing his people skills.

Near the climactic finale, McGarrett underscores the gravity of the situation by telling an underling, ``I don't have to tell you, lieutenant, we're working against time.''

Depending on one's perspective, time hasn't been particularly kind to ``Five-0.'' Goof on it and you might have a blast. Expect edge-of-your-seat drama or even shreds of nuance and you'll come away devastated. A visual makeover is all well and good. But no one's yet perfected the art of remastering scripts and plots as well.

X X X

HAWAII FIVE-0

9 p.m. ET weeknights beginning Tuesday

The Family Channel

X X X

(c) 1997, The Dallas Morning News.

Visit The Dallas Morning News on the World Wide Web at http://www.dallasnews.com/

Distributed by Knight-Ridder/Tribune Information Services.

It always annoys me when people choose to review the pilot, first, or second episode in a long completed series, and then act as if it represents the entire series.

Go back and watch the early episodes of almost every long, successful show, and you'll see awkward writing, rough-around-the-edges characters, and silly gimmicks. Usually it takes a bit for a series to find itself and for the writers to get comfortable with the proper tone for each character, as well as to get a feel for what does and doesn't work on the show itself.

"Family Guy" even mocked itself for this, via a later episode where two characters went back in time to the show's pilot episode, and they mocked all of the poorly written jokes, bad animation, and gimmicks which never continued.

Even take a highly revered show such as "All in the Family", and watch the pilot. Archie is too mean, Edith is sarcastic and bitchy (nothing like the sweet and naive version people got to love), and the young characters were late '60s hippy caricatures.

In the review above, McGarrett is shown being unnecessarily rude to Danno, but that didn't continue throughout the series.

I found the same thing with the first episode of Streets of San Francisco in my review:

https://thestreetsofsanfrancisco.info/sosf-1.htm#1

A very good show, but I agree with someone at IMDb who says that for a first episode, Mike comes on very strong with his "leave no stone unturned" (no pun intended) approach to solving the crime, so this is really not a good introduction to the show and the lead characters (assuming that you have not seen the pilot, of course).