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Thread: New 13th season episodes

  1. #1
    Five-O Home Page Author Mr. Mike's Avatar
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    Some new 13th season episodes have come to light:

    And They Painted Dairies On His Coffin ★★
    Five-O investigates the murder of a milkman after some customers complained that he delivered their bottles of milk and cream at odd hours of the day, leaving them out in the hot sun.

    The Cock Struck Twelve ★★
    Chucho, the champion fighting rooster owned by Benny Apa in S01E12, "Pray Love Remember, Pray Love Remember," escapes from a poultry processing plant and goes after people who placed bets on him in the past. In the United Kingdom, the DVDs containing this episode have all the cockfighting scenes removed, plus those where Five-O is baffled because all of Chucho's victims have their eyes pecked out.

    The Year Of The Hoarse ★★★
    McGarrett loses his voice from screaming at Kimo Carew, who he considers to be totally incompetent. Doc Bergman tells McGarrett that he has to take at least a year off work, but, of course, the Five-O chief cannot sit still.

  2. #2
    Five-O Home Page Author Mr. Mike's Avatar
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    I have expanded some of the above episodes a bit. See http://fiveohomepage.com/5-0log13.htm

    By the way, I had an interesting discussion regarding this page a long time ago:

    THEM: Hello - We have bought all of the original Hawaii 50 dvds, 1 thru 12. Howeve the Hawaii 50 Home Page lists a 13th season with episode descriptions. Will this season be available on dvd? If not, is there any way to view them? Thank you very much.
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    ME: Look at the top of the page. What do you see?
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    THEM: I don't understand...top of what page?
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    ME: Where do you see the 13th season "listed"?
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    THEM: Where all the seasons and are listed across the page.....it shows a season 13 with episode descriptions with the first being about a porno sting.....that's why I'm confused. On the Hawaii 50 home page, you scroll down to where all the seasons are listed in blue across the page...it shows a season 13 to click on.
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    ME: Go to the page you have just described about the "porno sting." Look at the top of the page. What do you see there? [I am talking about the title of the page.]
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    THEM: Do you mean where it says Season 13 etc., with a smiley face?
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    ME: Yes, what does the smiley face suggest to you, especially since none of the other season analysis pages have this?
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    THEM: You are saying this season 13 was a joke on your part?
    =====
    ME: Yes.

  3. #3
    Five-O Home Page Author Mr. Mike's Avatar
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    But wait, there are more episodes!!

    The Chin Who Clears The Way ★★★

    Chin Ho gets bonked on the head while pursuing some suspects. When he wakes up, he has forgotten who he is and instead decides to be part of Wo Fat's retinue, doing evil things. The fact that Chin got killed at the end of season 10 is irrelevant (shades of the 1997 Stephen Cannell failed reboot).

    Mrs. Moroney, You're Full of Baloney ★★

    In S03E22, Marty, the brother of the guy who Danno shot and killed in the first season returned to take vengeance, but, confusingly, his brother's name was changed from Thad to Joey and their last names changed from Vaughn to Collins. Using the same kind of logic, Marty, who was killed with a head shot in the season three show, did not die! He recovered, went to jail and acted like a model prisoner (again) and was released on parole (again). He tracks down Mrs. Moroney, the old lady who gave him a lot of mouth during the hostage taking. She nags him even more in this show, and he instead realizes he was wrong and decides to become a social worker.

    3000 Dead Cows That Make a Poo ★★★★

    Erich Stoss (Theodore Bikel), "The Beast," has escaped from prison and kidnapped Alex Kline (Ed Flanders), who didn't die in S02E24 after all. Stoss seeks to use Kline to destroy Hawaii by genetically engineering cows to release deadly methane gas in the air that will kill everyone, unless a huge ransom is paid. McGarrett realizes the only way to counteract this sinister plan is to kill every cow in Hawaii. The ASPCA is not cool with this idea, but McGarrett assures them none of the meat will go to waste, so everyone on the islands is forced to eat hamburgers and steak for a month and get colonoscopies afterwards. At the climax of the show, Kline traps Stoss in a barn with the last batch of the farting cows, and "The Beast" succumbs to the toxic methane fumes. Wanda Russell (Loretta Swit) who has been pining for Kline for years, shows up, and she succumbs too. Feeling remorse, Klein turns himself in to Five-O, who let him off the hook for Wanda's death by getting him to agree to engineer new cows whose regular, normal methane will smell like plumeria. (Thanks to Hermano of C/H/Q)

    Wednesday, Ladies Free ★★★★★

    There is a price war among escort services in Honolulu because business is so bad. Marie Windsor, who played Gloria, the boss of one of these outfits in S04E03, returns. She makes her girls available for nothing other than tips. (There is a bad pun here somewhere which we won't get into.) McGarrett gives her a stern lecture, saying "prostitution is still illegal even if you are not charging for it." He overlooks the charges when Gloria provides him and the entire Five-O team with some "services." Even Jenny and the receptionist staff benefit, thanks to some "hunky studs."

  4. #4
    Five-O Home Page Author Mr. Mike's Avatar
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    Another episode has been found!

    No Bottles ... No Cans ... No People ... No Shit! ★★★

    An entrepreneurial guy starts selling boxes designed to hold animal waste like dog poop and kitty litter. These boxes are, naturally, brown in color, but they are made out of plastic and look like the blue boxes used for recycling. Confused people think these boxes are authorized by the Oahu Recycling Facility, so they put them out with the other material every week and some of the recycling truck drivers, also confused, dump the contents into the trucks. Oliver Opala, the boss of the garbage collection company, becomes unhinged and starts murdering people who use the brown boxes, stuffing their bodies/body parts in them for disposal. (Thanks to Hermano of C/H/Q)

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