Recovered from my December 1995 e-mail! Not by me, I think it was copied from Usenet XF news group or something.

X-FILES DO IT YOURSELF EPISODE GENERATOR


1. Teaser - Holy smokes! There's a...
a) parasitic lifeform!
b) alien abduction!
c) serial killing!
d) all of the above!


2. Our heroes investigate the crime scene with...
a) two stop watches
b) a geiger counter that looks like a zooped up "Dirt
Devil"
c) a briefcase filled with cool FBI type stuff
d) little regard for disturbing the scene of a crime
e) all of the above


3. Scully is...
a) pouting
b) pissed off
c) sceptical at first
d) suffering from PMS
e) all of the above


4. Mulder is...
a) on to something
b) at his wits end
c) suspicious
d) psychic
e) hung-over
f) all of the above


5. They both run into...
a) red-tape
b) hostile local law-enforcement officials
c) a crazy person whom no-one believes
d) "Deep Throat"
e) another car
f) all of the above


6. Mulder meets Deep Throat at...
a) an aquarium
b) the Washington Monument
c) Walmart
d) Taco Bell


7. Deep Throat then...
a) gives Mulder a manila envelope filled to bursting with
totally useless information
b) tells him he's "Really close!"
c) tells him to "Back off!"
d) sends Mulder on a wild goose chase
e) gets shot


8.a. Meanwhile Scully consults some...
a) conspiracy freaks
b) really mean bikers
c) forensic friends at the morgue
d) computers
e) all of the above


8.b. where she flashes her...
a) smile
b) badge
c) flashlight
d) surly disposition


9.a. Scully and Mulder hook-up at...
a) an airport bookstore
b) his/her trashed apartment
c) a sleazy motel
d) an abandoned warehouse filled with mutating
cadavres


9.b. where they then...
a) flirt
b) yell at each other
c) check for strange "marks" on each other's bodies
d) decide on which red-herring to go chasing after


10.a. LOOK OUT! There's...
a) an alien
b) a psychopath
c) an armed and surly C.I.A. operative
d) an unhelpful local (in-bred) citizen


10.b. hiding in that...
a) cellar
b) van
c) barn
d) spooky warehouse
e) hi-tech government facility


11.a. Mulder and Scully narrowly escape with their lives
thanks to...
a) a handy ventilator shaft
b) superior weaponry
c) Scully's intimate knowledge of hot-wiring cars
d) alien stupidity
e) all of the above


11.b. but they are tailed by...
a) ALIENS
b) FBI
c) NSA
d) CIA
e) "THEM"
f) their consciences
g) all of the above


12. Their only solid lead turns out to be...
a) a wild goose chase
b) a dead-end
c) a passing weather balloon
d) lights from a semi on top of a hill during a full moon


13. All the evidence...
a) disappears
b) is destroyed by the CIA
c) sinks symbolically into the bay
d) gets put in a giant hi-tech government secret facility
that keeps that sort of dangerous stuff from the public


14. Mulder is left...
a) shaking his head
b) holding the bag
c) whining about government secrecy
d) worrying about his job status
e) wondering why he has to convince Scully about the
existence of aliens at the start of every episode